How do you define friendship and how do you win friends? Are you a true friend? Are your friends influential enough?
These questions above are few from the things I want to ask about friendship. You can’t define it unless you do not value if what friends are for, right? Well, let me ask you this, do you know who are your true friends and not? Nobody knows exactly right? Life is a matter of choice, and so friends too. Friends come and go. Friends are the one whom you can lean on in times of hardships in life. Friends are special. Friends are the one whom you can’t live without.
Let me start with a quotation of mine that defined what friendship for me is. FRIENDSHIP! What a big word for me. “Friendship is a commitment itself.” That is how I defined friendship, why? Simply because when I engaged myself to my friends there is a commitment even though they won’t do the same. Why am I talking to commitment anyway? What are these? Nothing really serious, you just have to commit yourself to your friends to be their second home in times of needs, to be their crying shoulder when sorrow comes. You’ll gonna lend ears when they tell interesting stories even you found it boring. Why am I saying all of those? Because that’s what exactly me to my friends, always making sure that they’ll be comfortable whenever we are together, treasuring every moment we shared that can be nicely worth recalling when old ages come.
Well, the really purpose of this article is to express my feelings of having such a friend that I really love. Not an ordinary friend of mine because I consider her as a special one — my better half. People will probably think I’m insane. Well, it’s okay. It is my own life anyway and life is a matter of choice.
I met her I think 6 years ago. She’s in her 4th year high school and I was a grade 6th pupil only, but that gap was not really an issue for the both of us. The funny thing was she’s my classmate’s sister. Her sister should be my friend, but things went wrong because I feel more comfortable being with her, and I felt so guilty because her sister was trying to approach me but I prefer to be with her, maybe because we can relate each other on many things in life. Laughing on simple jokes, talking on things we are both interested, and singing songs we love, even in untuned voice.
Like an ordinary friends, we do fight sometimes, oh I must say always, on the things that may offend either me or she. But I always make sure to patch up things as soon as possible before things got complicated. Whenever we got both busy, we make sure to give time on each other. Yes, my better half I could say.
There were times that our friendship was tested of so many problems. We were apart, as expected because she’ll be spending her college degree on a far place and I’ll be left, we rarely see each other that sometimes may lead to misunderstanding, whenever I was not informed that she’s home. One time, when I’m on my way home, I saw her already riding a motorcycle going back, and I saw her sad face and inside of it was anger because I didn’t not made my promise to see her that time, because also of my busy schedule in school. Well, I explained to her my reason but her ears that time were closed. And she did not texted me for how many weeks. But when I got the chance to see and meet her, nothing changed. So, I end up going home with tears on my face. That was it, no communication for almost 2 months I think. You would probably say that we were weird, because normal friends don’t act that way, right? But we did, like a couple one.
Well, I can’t blame anyone why I’m falling for her all the time. I can’t blame her and I can’t blame myself also. It just happened without me noticing that I was already loving her unconditionally. But things are complicated. People would think of me negatively because I’m falling in love with person who has the same sex as mine, and that is my best friend, too. I just kept this feeling for years because I don’t want to ruin our friendship and also our reputation. Even though it kills me softly to hide my motives towards her, I just set aside it for the sake of friendship. Because I just hid it we remained friends for years, but she’s not insensitive not to notice my treatments towards her, because she even giving back the things that I wanted from her, without saying things to me directly and I felt it.
Just last year when we encountered problems in both parties of our families to the point that they want us to apart from each other because of some things happened and some personal reasons, too. We disobeyed them. For we already know what friendship really is. Sticking to each other whatever happens. Actually, I was shocked one time that she called me crying, saying, “Please promise me not to leave me come what may.” It broke my heart into pieces hearing such words like that because that moment I was already thinking of ending our friendship, but no doubts I did not do it because of her. How can I leave the person I love and choose the things that I may regret when times come?
Just this summer, after her graduation, she went her in Manila for good, because I moved here for my college degree. One year of not seeing each other, she patched up the times that we’ve missed. Then I got the chance to tell her my feelings for her, and guessed what? She already knew it for she feel it for so many years. And I’m happy even without assurance of her that she will do the same, and I’m not expecting and assuming anything from her. If there will be it is for me to work it out, but for the meantime, I will still remain her best friend whom she can lean on, her crying shoulder in times of loneliness, her best buddy on corny jokes, and her partner in crimes when it comes to food, because that’s what friends are for.